We ate too much turkey!
To Lucie’s lawyer: She doesn’t like her picture taken!
Girlie Girl (left) does!
WHY WOMEN SHOULDN’T TAKE MEN SHOPPING
After Mr. Samuel retired, his wife insisted that he accompany her on her trips to Target. Unfortunately, like most men, Sam found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunate, his wife is like most women – she loves to browse. Yesterday his dear wife received the following letter from the local Target. Dear Mrs. Samuel, Over the past six months, your husband has caused quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against your husband, Mr. Samuel, are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras.
1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in other people’s carts when they weren’t looking.
2.. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
3. July 7: He made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women’s restroom.
4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice, ‘Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away’. This caused the employee to leave her assigned station and receive a reprimand from her Supervisor that in turn resulted with a union grievance, causing management to lose time and costing the company money.
5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&Ms on layaway.
6. August 14: Moved a ‘CAUTION – WET FLOOR’ sign to a carpeted area.
7. August 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told the children shoppers he’d invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding department to which twenty children obliged.
8. August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying and screamed, ‘Why can’t you people just leave me alone?’ EMTs were called.
9.. September 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose.
10. September 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.
11. October 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the ‘
Mission Impossible’ theme.12. October 6: In the auto department, he practiced his ‘Madonna look’
by using different sizes of funnels.
13. October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, yelled ‘PICK ME! PICK ME!’
14. October 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed a fetal position and screamed ‘OH NO! IT’S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!’
And last, but not least:
15. October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, then yelled very loudly, ‘Hey! There’s no toilet paper in here.’ One of the clerks passed out.
5 Yard Quickie Pattern: Bars & Squares #2
Bars & Squares Quilt
Finished size: 56″x 80″
Block size finished: 8″ sq (70 blocks)
5 Fabrics @ 1 yard each!
We had lots of fun making a quilt from this fast pattern and you will too!
This pattern was designed to use with any fabrics!
It’s easy to cut, and we strip-sewed the bars!
We made two versions of this quilt:
One with fun and distinct contrast:
and a Shabby Chic version:
When we finished this one it did look very plain and we could see though it,
but I sent it to get professionally quilted by Meloney Funk.
Once this was quilted it turned out beautiful!
You can see more of her quilting here: Mel’s Quilting Blog.
Happy Thanksgiving!
Graphics hosted at MySpaceAnimations.com
Where in the world is granny?
We have a winner - Jean!
Jean, where are you from?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The first person to let me know where I was will get a $10 eGift card.
Be the first to reply to this blog!
Where is granny
5 Yard Quickie Pattern #7
Finished size: 65″x 74″
5 Fabrics @ 1 yard each (one or two focus fabrics)
5 Fabrics @ 1 yard each (one or two focus fabrics)
This pattern was designed to use with fabrics that have border stripes or large prints. Then add a few companion fabrics and “Ta Da” you have a beautiful quilt!
Here’s the bundle we used to make our quilt top:
Leaf Love Collection from Clothworks:
Our finished quilt top!
The center has two fabrics – one border stripe and 1 all over pattern. The border stripe was cut into half at the fold line. The all over print is cut into 3 strips.
The middle border is a panel/border stripe that we cut into strips and sewed together. The bundle has this print in it and we cut the fabric 22″ x 72″ to make it easier to use!
Fabric Review: Migration
Migration by Holly Taylor from Moda.
The leaves are turning their beautiful shades as they start to fall, the air has that crisp fresh scent and feel that reminds us of what is to come. The sky fills with many V formations of ducks and large flocks of geese traveling their long journey to their destination…. .aaahhhhh fall!
This collection has 29 pieces which include 3 colorways:
Local quilt group Medina Texas…
This quilt group did a wonderful thing to help out their community.
You can read about this here: http://quilttherapy.com/?p=2012
Belonging to a quilt guild, bee or group can be very rewarding and do so if you can!
Pattern Review: Golden Layers
My friend and pattern designer Tammy H. from BOM Quilts designed this quilt last year as a block of the month. She did her thing, designing the pattern, making the quilt, taking picture and listing the free pattern. When I saw it last year I thought, how nice…..
This month I was the vendor at our quilt guild and wanted to showcase Christmas quilts. I asked her to send me this quilt sonce as it was done with my fabric collection Royal Holiday. She did and….
WOW! WOW!! WOW!!!
What a difference from looking a picture to holding a finished quilt!
It’s so beautiful! The pattern is simple, easy and fun!
Purchase your kits here: GOLDEN LAYERS Quilt
Finished Size 60″ square
Featuring select fabrics from “Royal Holiday” fabric line from Moda
Included in kit (as seen in photo):
Free Pattern from BOM QUILTS
1 Moda Layer Cake
1/2 yard sashing
1 1/2 yard outer border & binding
Here’s a close-up of the corners which were
done in easy reverse raw-edge applique.
The picture blocks in the center are the panel cut up:
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